I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
