You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
