I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
