tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish i was in the wii world.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
