is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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