I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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