so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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