my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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