i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
