No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
