I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
