3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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