lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
