just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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