Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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