How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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