The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
