i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
