you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
