yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
