The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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