he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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