I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
