I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
