Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
