Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Someone came in the potted fern
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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