even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
