the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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