so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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