i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
