Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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