oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
