just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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