just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
