I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
