Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
