You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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