Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
