Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
