Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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