I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
