i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
