I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
