Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
