FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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