check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
