I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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