You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
