Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
