I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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