Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
