Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
