I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
