she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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